If Wishes Were Fishes
by HakorTheEgyptianPharoah
Summary: After a "chance" encounter, Sookie finds herself thinking of her love and loss of Bill.


**AN:** This is kind of a companion to my (really) short one-shot "Lullaby", but there's absolutely no reason to read the other one except that it would make me a very happy Egyptian pharaoh. And everybody knows that the pharaoh should always be happy...

Enjoy!

* * *

"I love you."

"Please, Bill."

"I love you more than anything."

"I've told you before, that's not going to magically fix everything."

Bill sighed. "I know, but sometimes I feel like I need to remind you, so you'll know that I will always help you, no matter what."

"Well, I can't say that I'm not appreciative, because I am, but you need to just give me some space. I'm with Eric, and you know he doesn't like how much you hang around me. He sees is as 'infringement on his territory'." Gotta love word of the day calendars, Sookie thought.

"You think I care how he sees it?"

"You should, he's your boss, and unless I'm mistaken, that means a lot more to vampires than it does to humans."

Bill was silent for a moment, walking down the grocery isle beside Sookie, hands in his pockets. After the silence had stretched for what seemed an appropriate amount of time, he spoke again.

"Why are you out buying groceries in the middle of the night, anyways?"

"Eric is coming over later, and I was running low on blood. I thought while I was out, I might as well get my other groceries. No point wasting gas on another trip."

"Oh."

Sookie stopped abruptly and turned to him. "Now you listen here, Bill Compton, I am my own woman with my own life. I am not _yours_ anymore. I will have a relationship with whoever I please, and you'll get over it! I don't care whether or not you like it, because your opinion _doesn't matter_ when it comes to this kind of thing. And I've about had it with you following me around like a wounded puppy. I understand that you're hurting, but I am too. Did you ever stop to think about how hard this is for me? I'm trying to get over the fact that my first boyfriend _ever _only dated me because he was ordered to, and he won't stop following me around!" She glared, daring him to contradict her.

Bill, who had stood quietly with his impassive I'm-a-vampire mask, gave her a sad look, for a split second, then the mask came up again. "I understand." And he disappeared.

Sookie sighed. Maybe she had been too hard on him? No, she had needed to say that, and he needed to leave her alone. Eric only had so much patience. She pushed her cart along, browsing the shelves for her favorite brand of peanut butter. As she took it down from the shelf and put it in her cart, her mind wandered to Bill.

He had been her first, in every sense of the word. When he had first come into Merlotte's, she'd been so fascinated by him. She had heard of vampires, of course, but had never seen one. It had been her chance to really see one up close and personal, very personal, as fate would have it. And she had been so delighted to discover their silence. In a world full of the constant buzz of other's thoughts, the silence of his mind had been like finding an oasis in the middle of the desert.

They'd had great times together. He would take her out sometimes, and buy her dinner. But he never seemed to see the important things, like the fact that her driveway had needed to be re-graveled, or that her old winter coat (which Eric had happily thrown away) had been wearing thin and that she just didn't have the money to do anything about it. Maybe if he had been more aware of that, she would have tried to work through it.

But then again, maybe not. He had betrayed her in the worst way possible. He had lied to her and runaway with Lorena, planning not to tell her until long after he was gone. And then she discovered that their relationship had never truly existed. Bill had been ordered by the Queen of Louisiana to come to Bon Temps and see if the rumors of a telepath had been true, and if they were, to get that person's trust, because they would be very useful to the Queen. Well, he had gotten her trust alright.

Sometimes, Sookie wished that Bill had never told her, and that she was still blissfully unaware of his original motives, still lying happily in bed with him while he stroked her skin, or sitting on the couch while he brushed her hair. But it was too late for wishful thinking now, she just had to buck up her courage and push through. Like they say, if wishes were fishes, there'd be no room in the sea.


End file.
